LONDON NEWS

From the Times:

“Elite detectives, dressed as young Londoners with peace wristbands, designer leisurewear and fashionable haircuts, are now on the front line, stalking suspects. Trained with the SAS in close-combat techniques, they are equipped with brutally efficient, adapted Heckler & Koch pistols.”

Just last night TUPNews was in a bar on the Holloway Road, sneering at trendies (as is my wont). Little did I know that one wrong move could have earned me a Stockwell sandwich from a tooled-up Nathan Barley. Be vigilant, Londoners, especially in the Hoxton/Shoreditch area.