MIDDLE EAST NEWS

Todday TUPNews reports live from Doha, the capital of Qatar.

So far it’s just been airport, taxi, Ritz-Carlton, so I can’t give you too much juice just yet. I saw a pedestrian crossing sign; the silhouetted figure on the sign was a woman in a burka, which was excellent. And when you pull open the stationary drawer of the desk in my hotel room, there is a little sticker indicating the exact direction of Mecca. Also the money is absolutely amazing. There are no people on the banknotes, just images from nature. A one-riyal note has some small birds on it. A fifty-riyal has a massive oyster. Go look for it on the net.

Speaking of which, the internet access costs here are astounding, so this will unfortunately be my only live post. Plenty more when I get back, though.

I will say, in passing, that next time you have a stinking hangover and a howling case of beer shame, TUPNews recommends you sleep it off in the Club World compartment of a British Airways aeroplane. The seats are like little cubicles; they recline to horizontal. I slept like a child. And in my precarious state, the kindness of the service nearly brought me to tears.

Despite my love of the jet set, I have a fear of flying. This is based on my fear of dying cheaply in a plane crash. I was cured totally in this instance, however. This is how I want to die, I thought – on my back, with a belly full of crayfish and champagne, smashing into the snow-capped Swiss Alps.

UPDATE!

Just got in on Qatar Airways, business class - now that is the way to die!!