LONDON NEWS

TUPNews was just stopped on London’s Carnaby Street by a young woman with a plate of meat, camera crew in tow. She asked me to sample her wares – little grey meatball things – while the cameras filmed me. I ate one; it was tasty. What is it, I asked. Lamb testicles, she replied. The camera crew leant in, awaiting my gor-blimey-gov’nor-well-I-never reaction.

Who do they think they’re kidding? I’m a LONDONER, for fuck’s sake. You really think this is the first time I’ve eaten a lamb’s nuts? Fuck, I could probably give you a Time Out-style top five places to eat lamb balls right off the top of my head.

I signed the consent form triumphantly: look out for me on Food Uncut.