BREAKING NEWS

Turkmenbashi the Great, president of Turkmenistan and former TUPNews Man of the Year, is dead at 66.

Russian security services will be blamed, probably fairly. It’s gas contract renegotiation season, you see, and Turkmenbashi is probably not pro-Russian enough for their tastes. The fewer despots controlling Europe's energy security the better, says TUPNews, but at the same time, farewell to one of the last great mentalist rulers of our times.