SPORTS NEWS

The England cricket team recently defeated Australia in the Fourth Test of the Ashes series, bringing the series score to 2-1 with one Test remaining. In the same way that football enjoyed a popular renaissance following England’s successful run in the 1990 World Cup, cricket is now attracting legions of newfound fans, including TUPNews.

In the coming months, the readers of Britain’s broadsheet newspapers will be deluged with countless filler pieces written by paid-by-the-word professional journalists on the innate beauty of this wonderful game, most of which will be so trite and pompous as to actually put one off cricket altogether.

As a service to its readers, TUPNews presents below the only thing you need to read about cricket this year. The following paragraph taken from a poorly-translated cricket fundamentals website, and tells you everything you need to know about how to bat, and how to lead your life:

Batting really consits of playing one ball at a time. The batsman must learn to gear himself for playing each ball with all the concentration at his command. Concentration can be improved if enough hard work is done to build up a habit of mind. Attitude is vital. If you build yourself up to the right frame of mind there is nothing you cannot do. charcter plays a large part in this . Cricket is a game to be enjoyed. Cricket is much more because it is a game that can help shape your life. What you learn on the field will hold good for many things in life too. A Straight bat and a stout heart are bound to take you far. Confidence will come from doing things the right way as matter of habit. To gain that habit, pay attention to the basics.