SPORTS NEWS

Cricket
LV County Championship Division 1

Surrey bt Lancashire by 24 runs


TUPNews recently reported my intention to take in more cricket at The Oval. Naturally I didn't get round to it until this Saturday, when I popped up to watch the post-tea session of what it turns out was the last match of the season for Surrey CCC, vs Lancs. I tipped up at a half three, hoping to wangle a discount from the £12 full day price, only to discover that they let you in for free after 4pm! Take note, reader. Not a bad thing to do on a Saturday at all, really - take in an hour or so of county cricket in the late afternoon before commencing with the hardcore new-rave clubbing/raving, or whatever it is kids etc etc. I had a quick drink in the Beehive (mock Tudor on the outside, leathery poshness on the inside), and arrived back at the ground at five to four. There were about twenty other scabs standing outside the Hobbs gate (pictured).

I would recommend that the reader arrives at five past rather than five to, in order to breeze through the gates like a ghost rather than stand outside like a beggar. Incredibly, people waiting outside were actually gently arguing with the steward ("by whose watch? but they had an early tea? surely-"), working themselves into the quiet indignation of the mildly-inconvenienced British customer. "IT'S FREE FOR FUCK'S SAKE" I roared at them, in my head. Finally the Oval's clock struck four and we wandered in.

Watching county cricket as a neutral is a pleasantly meditative experience: the ground was barely a tenth full, so quiet that the people dotted around me - a mixture of elderly men, middle-aged couples, Times readers and families - kept their conversations quiet in order not to attract attention to themselves. When my mobile rang, I rushed to answer it as if it had gone off in a gallery. I have a theory that, as one gets older, one enjoys feeling pleasantly bored and will seek out excuses to do so - here is an excellent excuse.

I had to leave after about ten overs to go meet people, which is a shame as I was starting to become engaged in the Lancashire run-chase. I learnt later that had that run-chase been successful, they would have won the championship. I kicked myself for not finding out about the free gate earlier, and hoped that in sharing this information with you, reader, I could atone. Next summer, enjoy.