EUROPE NEWS

Today TUPNews reports live from Paris, the capital of France.

I visit Paris at least once a year, just to check up on the French, make sure they're looking after themselves etc. They are somewhat prone to melancholy, so you have to keep an eye. Thankfully I can report that the French are doing just fine.

This is largely, I believe, because they seem to have discovered rollerskating, and it's making them very happy. Parisians of all ages rollerskate everywhere. Londoners also rollerskate, but tend to treat it as a discrete hobby. They wear pads and arrange cones in Trafalgar Square, or go to one of the city's large parks in order to rollerskate for its own sake. Parisians, it seems, simply use rollerskates to get around, as it's quicker. About half wear traditional rollerskates, and half wear roller blades.

UPDATE!

French women remain divine, TUPNews can report. See a fit girl on the Tube and it's "cor, wouldn't mind a bit of that!" See a delicate French flower on the Metro and it's "i want to devote every waking moment of my life exclusively to making you happy. i would crawl through broken glass to elicit a slight sweet smile from your angelic Gallic face."

There are downsides to being in Paris, however. For example, French law makes it impossible to buy any food before noon that isn't a cake. i was virtually laughed out of a cafe this morning for demanding an omelette.

In a friendly way, however. Contrary to stereotype, I have been very impressed with the warm service I have received here.