LONDON NEWS

Today is National Cheese On Toast Day, TUPNews can exclusively report.

In Leicester Square, trade representatives of the UK's major bread and cheese manufacturers have set up stalls. On one, roughly 200 slices of bread have been laid out on a table in a big grid and covered with grated cheese. A woman then melts the cheese with a blowtorch. Fantastic.

Unfortunately, TUPNews had already eaten.